How to Win Friends and Influence People
Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
Let’s realise that criticisms are like homing pigeons.
‘Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbour’s roof,’ said Confucious, ‘when your own doorstep is unclean.
Any fool can criticise, condemn and complain – and most fools do.
‘I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people,’ said Schwab, ‘the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.
The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.
That’s all flattery is – cheap praise.
‘Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.
‘Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.
Everybody in the world is seeking happiness – and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.
Jim Farley discovered early in life that the average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together.
‘I realised why I had failed for years to sell him,’ said Mr. Wesson. ‘I had urged him to buy what I thought he ought to have. Then I changed my approach completely. I urged him to give me his ideas. This made him feel that he was creating the designs. And he was. I didn’t have to sell him. He bought.
Shakespeare said ‘Assume a virtue, if you have it not.’ And it might be well to assume and state openly that other people have the virtue you want them to develop.